托福写作的独立部分对考生的写作内容重视程度上超过词句运用,因此许多文章写得很漂亮的同学拿不到高分很多时候其实都是因为内容方面存在问题,下面小编就和大家分享托福独立写作高分要点解读,来欣赏一下吧。
托福独立写作高分要点解读 说清楚逻辑关系很重要
托福独立写作为什么逻辑容易扣分?
很多人都觉得奇怪,为什么托福独立写作部分逻辑容易出错扣分呢?其实原因很简单,逻辑是个思维层面上的东西,而中国考生和老外出题者,在思维模式上对不上电波其实并不少见。
很多同学习惯了写中文文章较为含蓄或者话里有话的思路,而老外考官其实并没有义务去猜测你的想法,这种思维上的差异就会导致考生自以为已经表达清楚的逻辑,其实老外考官根本就没有GET到点,反而觉得考生没把逻辑关系写清楚。再加上托福写作中电脑部分的e-rater评分也并不从内容逻辑角度来给分,这就造成了中国考生很容易在逻辑中因为没把话说清楚而被扣分了。
实例讲解托福独立写作的逻辑扣分
上面说了一些理论大家可能还没完全理解,下面小编举一个来自小站托福写作学员的真实案例给大家分析一下:
学生习作节选
When one student pay his all attention to the professor, he can find themistakes. And during the process of the discussion with the professor, studentscan learn a lot of new knowledge.
逻辑问题分析
这篇独立写作的题目是讨论大学教育中学生和教授的关系。而这位同学写的文章其实词汇语法句式方面都还好,但偏偏就是逻辑问题太多。大家来看这段节选的句子,逻辑上的错误多到别说是老外,就连同为中国人的小编都忍不了的地步。
为什么学生认真听讲就能找到错误?找到的到底是什么错误谁的错误?是老师讲课犯的错误还是学生自己的理解错误?然后找到错误和后面讨论之间又是什么关系,两个没有明显逻辑联系的句子怎么就给连着写了出来?
像这样塞满了逻辑问题的句子,就好像“元芳你怎么看?”“我用眼睛看。”一样的无厘头对答一样,考官既看不懂更没有义务和心思去猜你的行文逻辑,很可能直接一个逻辑部分不合格的评分就甩了出来,你的作文得分就这么掉了下来。
如何改善托福独立写作的逻辑论述?
那么,假如考生在托福独立写作中存在上述的论述逻辑问题,要怎么样才能及时发现和改正过来呢?
1. 先列提纲再写文章
写作文之前列提纲是很好的习惯,但很多同学嫌麻烦或是为了节省时间都会跳过这个步骤,然而逻辑问题往往就是因为大家没列提纲理清楚写作思路所产生的。因此,小编希望大家在撰写独立写作的文章时,还是能够先把提纲给列好,至少整篇文章的观点,分论点,支持论据这些要先想清楚并且写在草稿上,至于具体的词汇语法句式则可以边写边加入。这么做既能避免文章跑题,在逻辑论述上也能更有条理,有效避免逻辑错误。
2. 找别人看文章
想要改善逻辑问题,那么考生需要先能够发现问题才行。然而实际上大家想要找到自己平时写作文时存在的逻辑漏洞却并非易事。之所以逻辑问题不容易发现,原因在于考生自己往往是很难看出自身思维上的逻辑错误的。本来就是按照自己的想法思维来写的,大家理所当然地会觉得别人也能看懂,发现不了问题实属正常。而既然自己发现不了,那么最好的做法当然是找别人来看了。
有条件的考生可以直接找托福写作方面的老师或者擅长英语写作的朋友来替你看文章,没有条件的也可以尝试通过托福考试群等在线方式找人来看自己的作文。看文章的要求不需要很高,只要让别人看看有没有逻辑上的问题。也许你发现不了的逻辑错误别人一眼就能看出来。通过这种方式来寻找自身作文的逻辑问题并加以改善,也是相当不错的做法。
3. 用好逻辑关系词
最后一个提升写作逻辑的做法就是用好逻辑关系词。托福写作中的逻辑关系很多,并列、因果、转折、递进、让步等等,各有各的对应逻辑关系词,小编在这里给大家留个作业,希望各位同学自己去把常用的表示各类逻辑关系的词汇分门别类的归纳汇总起来,然后尝试在自己的文章中用好这些关系词。这就好比给本来昏暗的房子里装上了照明灯一样,不仅自己能把逻辑关系展现出来,也能让考官看得更明白。
托福写作:题库范文附思路解析
1. Is there anything that young people can teach older people? Do you agreeor disagree with the following statement? There is nothing that young people canteach older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support yourposition.
『分析』不能同意。nothing是一个绝对修饰词。确实,大多数情况下,年龄大一些的人有更多的经验,年轻人要向他们学习。举例。然而,年龄大不一定等于懂得多。有很多时候哪怕很小的孩子也可以教我们很多东西。举例。
『范文』 It has been a common conception that young people have nothing ofvalue to teach their elders I firmly disagree with this statement, and positthat in fact, the opposite is true. Young people have a plethora of informationto teach old people. One of the advantages of being young is having a differentperspective on life than one's seniors. Young people have not been influenced bynearly as many people as an old person, and therefore, their thoughts and ideasare more their own. An older person can learn from these new ideas, and onceagain, see the world with the freshness and fascination of a young person. Also,young people tend to embark on all of their projects with a kind of intensityand perseverance. This quality can sometimes be lost as one gets older. Afterspending time with a young person, an old person tends to gain back some of thisvitality. For example, I have seen many older people who did not live theirlives to the fullest. However, with the addition of a grand-daughter or agrandson, they regained much of their youthfulness. In my opinion, this wasfully due to their seeing the vitality in the young, and learning from it.Finally, young people tend to enjoy experimenting when they are working on aproject. Older people are usually set in their ways, and will continue doing achore one way, even if it is not the best way. Young people can offer insightinto new methods of doing even the simplest tasks and often will think up newsystems that do not occur to the elderly. In conclusion, I think older peoplecan learn much from the future generations. Of course, this is not to say thatyoung people cannot learn from their elders. The educational process does notonly work one way through generation gaps.
2. Is reading fiction more enjoyable than watching movies? Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Reading fiction (such as novels and shortstories) is more enjoyable than watching movies. Use specific reasons andexamples to explain your position.
『分析』同意或者不同意都是偏颇的,所以,要看情况。要看是小说的类型,电影创作的质量。 ?读小说特有的好处:阅读时间安排上自由;有足够的想象空间;文字的美感不可替代 ? 看电影特有的好处:声像(combination of sound andimage)结合带来独特的效果;往往浓缩在150分钟之内;优秀演员的演绎(the ability to createempathy)带来不同的理解(interpretation)。 ? 有些东西是电影拍不出来的; ?有些东西是小说写不出来的所以,哪一个更好,不能一概而论。各有各的好处。
『范文』 Billions of dollars are spent on entertainment every year, in everycountry in the world. Much of this money is spent on either movies or fictionalbooks, as these two types of entertainment are found to be most enjoyable by themasses. Which, however, is more enjoyable? I posit that these mediums cannot becompared so easily, as they both have their strong points in regards toentertainment. When one reads a fictional book, one is able to let his/herimagination run wild. Everything from the setting to the character descriptionsis left up to the reader's mind, and therefore can be quite enjoyable. Dependingon the novel, of course, one can imagine far away places just by the descriptionread in the novel. Books are also an excellent form of entertainment as they areportable. If one is on a long commute to work, which is common in Beijing, onecan bring along a favorite novel, effectively taking his/her entertainment withhim/her. Books can be enjoyed in any setting. They can be picked up on a whim,and put down again to return to at a later time. Movies, of course, also havetheir own benefits. Movies allow the viewer to be completely engrossed in theplot. There is no need for thinking, as everything is presented to you in astraightforward form. One never has to ponder what a place or a person lookslike; the information is all accessible to the viewer. This can be an advantageor a disadvantage, depending on what one is looking for in his/herentertainment. In a society where we want everything faster, better and moreexciting, perhaps movies are a more relevant medium. However, movies demand atleast an hour and a half of one's time. Books are available to their consumerswhenever there is time, which is also an important feature. In conclusion, Ibelieve that neither books nor movies are a more enjoyable form ofentertainment. In some cases, I prefer to read a book. In others, a movie isvastly more enjoyable. It is up to the consumer to decide.
3. Should we spend all school day studying or set aside some time forexercising? Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part ofevery school day. Other people believe that students should spend the wholeschool day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specificreasons and details to support your answer.
『分析』同意前者更容易写一些。 ? 身体健康对每个人都很重要,并且是学习进步的前提 ? 体育训练可以使学生学到很多东西,比如团队精神 ?合理的课程设置是学校的责任,学校应该想办法保证学生的健康
『范文』 Some people believe that it is important to have physical activitiesas part of a child's everyday curriculum at school. Others disagree, and arguethat students should spend all of their time on academic studies. Personally, Ibelieve that physical education is a vital part of an education as it teacheschildren to take care of their bodies, how to work as a team, and gives them amethod of releasing tension and aggression. Humans have always known about theimportance of taking care of our bodies, but it seems that in recent years, wehave gradually forgotten this important fact. It is absolutely necessary to getsome physical activity at least a few times a week, and engraining this ideainto children when they are young is the best way to ensure their health forlife. Physical exercise usually involves teamwork of some sort. Much of theexercise that young people get involves games such as basketball, volleyball, orfootball. All of these sports teach children how to work together to achieve acommon goal, in this case, winning. I also believe that allowing the children towork together in a fun environment, rather than only on academic projects,brings a stronger sense of camaraderie, which helps the children to have healthyrelationships with others. Finally, physical exercise is an excellent way torelease tension and aggression. If one is particularly stressed about school orlife, getting exercise can help the person to relax. As for letting outaggression, it is much healthier to kick a football than it is to hit someonewho has made you angry. Exercise should definitely be a part of a student'seducation. Exercise has much more to offer than simply getting "a break" fromacademics. Physical exercise can balance out a student's hectic life, and makeit much more pleasurable.
4. A center for business research or for research in agriculture? Auniversity plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some peoplewant a center for business research. Other people want a center for research inagriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do yourecommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation.
『分析』 ? 陈述开展商业研究的必要性 ? 陈述开展同业研究的必要性 ? 根据我国情况,建议偏重农业技术研究,同时加强市场的调控
『范文』 China is currently one of the fastest growing economies in the world.A new research center whether business or agriculturally based, would bebeneficial for both our country and the rest of the world. When considering ifit would be more valuable to build a business center or an agricultural center,one must realize that both fields of research work hand in hand with each otherto develop and expand a country's economy. In a bustling economy like China's,either research center would have great value. There is no doubt that acountry's economy is strongly influenced by its ability to not only feed its ownpeople, but also to export agricultural products to other countries. In thissense, an agricultural research center would help further development in China'ssustainability and further the country on a global scale. An agriculturalresearch center would also be a great idea in China, as our country already hasexcellent agricultural techniques. By having this type of research center inChina, the world's knowledge on this important field would grow exponentially.Agriculture also has the ability to employ a large percentage of the population,and through agricultural research, these people's efforts could be used in amore efficient manner. A business research center would also be an excellentidea in China. As China becomes more and more prone to the power ofglobalization, a business research center would allow China to not only keep upwith the business-minded West, but also, this type of center could possiblyallow our country to surpass the West in new business ideas. China has thelargest population in the world, and therefore, the business industry is boundto grow at an alarmingly fast rate. In conclusion, I believe that either ofthese centers would be beneficial to our country. Perhaps the best solutionwould be to raise funds for both of the centers, and allow the two centers towork together to build a better China.
5. The advantages and disadvantages of young children spending much timepracticing sports Some young children spend a great amount of their timepracticing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Usespecific reasons and examples to support your answer.
『分析』优点:对身体健康有好处;有助于培养与人和睦相处的能力;缺点:耽误学习,instant pleasure costs long-termbenefits.
『范文』 It is a common activity not only in China, but across the world, foryoung children to spend copious amounts of time playing and practicing sports.There is much discussion as to whether this is a beneficial way for young peopleto spend their time. In order to decide, we must consider the advantages anddisadvantages. There are many advantages to children spending their time playingsports. First, children will be stronger and healthier because they are gettingexercise. This not only has the immediate effects of being healthy children, butalso affects their health later in life, as they will develop good habits fortaking care of their physical shape and their health. Second, exercise is knownto be an excellent appetite and weight controller. In recent years, with thefurther development of China, many young people are becoming overweight. Playingsports in one 's childhood could definitely help this situation. Finally, sportsare excellent social activities. If one plays sports early in life, he willlearn about teamwork, perseverance, and goal setting. All of these lessons willhelp one to become a happier, better adjusted adult. There are also a fewdisadvantages to children spending time playing sports. For example, playingsports detracts from study time, which is very important. If children areplaying sports so often that they cannot concentrate on their studies, theyshould definitely stop. Another disadvantage is that sports can sometimes bedangerous, causing life-long injuries to a person that is not careful. Finally,some people believe that sports are overly competitive, and push children toohard at a young age. It is possible that children would lose self-confidence andself-esteem if they constantly lost at sports. Sometimes, it is the parents thatpush the children too hard at sports, causing an unwillingness to participatedue to a lack of enjoyment. Overall, I think that sports are beneficial to ayoung person's life. They offer valuable skills that will be useful throughoutone's entire life. As long as one is careful and does not overdo it, sports arean excellent idea for all young children.